‘Thank You for Your Service’—Unless You’re a Woman?

We’ve all heard the phrase. It’s echoed at airports, in coffee shops, at public events:

“Thank you for your service.”

But for many women veterans, this gratitude doesn’t land the same way. Because often, it doesn’t come at all.

The Hidden Battle Behind the Uniform

When we talk about veterans, the image most people conjure is still overwhelmingly male. As a result, women who’ve worn the uniform are often met with confusion, disbelief, or even dismissal.

“Are you the wife of a veteran?”

“Did you serve in the admin office?”

“You don’t look like a soldier.”

This isn’t just about semantics or mistaken assumptions—it’s about erasure.

Women who have trained, deployed, commanded, led, and sacrificed are too often left out of the narrative. And this absence feeds a much larger problem: a lack of proper recognition, visibility, and support.

Public Assumptions: You Couldn’t Have Been That Kind of Soldier

Women veterans report being:

• Ignored at veteran events.

• Looked over in VA hospitals.

• Questioned when claiming benefits.

• Spoke as if their trauma couldn’t possibly come from combat.

It’s not uncommon for a woman vet to show her ID and get a surprised, “Oh, you’re the veteran?”

Some even stop identifying as veterans altogether—not because they didn’t serve, but because the world refuses to believe it.

The Shame That Shouldn’t Exist

This erasure leads to something even more damaging: internalized shame.

Many women veterans begin to:

• Downplay their service.

• Stop wearing their military gear.

• Avoid using veteran discounts.

• Stay silent about PTSD or injuries.

Why? Because if society doesn’t see them as “real” veterans, they begin to question it themselves.

This Is Not a One-Time Story

Through my movement, Battle-Tested Forgotten Veterans, I recently spoke with a woman who served 18 years in the U.S. Air Force, primarily in a male-dominated division. She shared her truth:

“I fought for my country every single day for nearly two decades. But now, I fight to be seen.”

She’s not alone. Her story echoes what thousands of other women in uniform silently carry:

The battle doesn’t end with discharge—it simply takes on a new form.

What Needs to Change

To truly honor ALL veterans, we must:

• Challenge the stereotypes of what a veteran looks like.

• Amplify the voices of women who served.

• Create inclusive spaces at VA clinics, events, and organizations.

• Educate the public on gender-specific experiences in military life.

• Encourage women veterans to reclaim their stories, out loud and unapologetically.

Let’s Start With This…

Instead of assuming, ask.

Instead of labeling, listen.

Instead of overlooking, acknowledge.

And the next time you say, “Thank you for your service,”

Make sure that thank-you includes the women who served—because they’ve earned it, too.

Affirmation of the Day:

“I don’t have to shrink to be respected. My service speaks for itself. And I refuse to be invisible.”

Let this affirmation echo through every room where women veterans feel unseen. In a world that often overlooks the roles and sacrifices of female service members, this is a powerful reminder: your strength, bravery, and journey need no justification, It is not necessary to demonstrate your value in order to be honored. Being respectful does not require you to keep a low profile. This affirmation should be said not just for yourself, but also for every sister-in-arms who is still yearning to be heard, seen, and acknowledged.

Today, you reclaim your space—loudly, proudly, and unapologetically.

Want to join the conversation?

Visit our movement at BattleTested Forgotten Veteran and be part of the change.