THE ANSWERS YOU SEEK: I've kept a safe distance from my family since they don't get along with....

As requested by you guys, I created a podcast titled “Road Of Recovery of a Female Player: From Self-Sabotage to Freedom" An Inspiring Journey from Addiction to Recovery and Empowerment of a Female Player... Awakening the Flame of Freedom Within. (Stay tuned for the first Episode, I will be announcing the information soon about the podcast.) Because the time in the podcast is short, I decided to create a section in my Website section called "The Answers You Seek: Addressing Your Questions on the Road to Recovery" may be accessed at this link. This section will include all the questions you asked through my Facebook business page private message or directly from the website chat. Like always I will keep your confidential information.

I've kept a safe distance from my family since they don't get along with my wife; is it OK for me to prioritize my marriage above my relationships with my other loved ones?

I never reveal my client's identities, information, or circumstances, and I always make sure to acquire their permission before discussing any topic that was brought up in a question that they presented to me. The other day, I had a client who asked me about giving priority to their home above their family, and the situation brought back memories of when my husband and I first began our life together 11 years ago. Therefore, I thought it would be appropriate to start the questions section with this question, which is something that my spouse once asked me. Therefore, both are at liberty to discuss it. I want to make it clear that this does not include all of his immediate family members. Those who want to discuss this matter are welcome to get in touch with us.

Responsibility for our actions and mistakes is something we must embrace fully. We can't place responsibility for our actions on anybody except ourselves, and we have to live with the consequences of our decisions. We must always remember that our identities are established not by the actions or opinions of others, but by our own uniqueness as individuals. While it's important to consider our partners' perspectives in romantic partnerships, each partner also has to recognize and respect their own autonomy and uniqueness.

Trying to shift responsibility away from ourselves and onto someone else may be counterproductive and stifle growth. Instead, we should make it a point to reflect on our choices, find out how to make progress in light of what we've learned, and own up to the consequences of our actions. Since we each have some control over the outcomes of our activities it is unfair to place all of the blame on someone else.

In regard to your question about cutting connections with someone due to disagreements or personal preferences, I think it's crucial to strike a balance between being yourself and being prepared to compromise with others. It's important to keep talking to one another and being respectful of one another's viewpoints and preferences, even when disagreements are normal. When individuals have differences of opinion, they should not automatically treat each other with contempt or alienate themselves from one another. Relationships thrive when partners can provide emotional support and understanding to one another and find common ground when difficulties arise.

Remember that deciding to be married is a joint choice made by two people in love. When two people decide to start a life together, it's a sign that they've realized they want to travel the world together. The decision to be married is an expression of love and commitment, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility and challenges. Since they've chosen to spend the rest of their lives together, they should both do everything they can to encourage, educate, and inspire one another.

I have always been a woman of faith, but I have never been an active church member due to my skepticism of organized religion. However, I have never denied the existence of God. I'm not going to lie and say I'm flawless; I made plenty of mistakes along the way, but they all helped me develop personally and spiritually. Especially since I've started living on my own, I can't stand having any drama in my life. I have reached the stage in my life when I am the most important thing to me. My priorities list looks like this:

GOD

ME

Husband

My Son's/Grandbabies

My Parents/Siblings/Mi Abuela

And for last the rest....

My children are adults with their own families and responsibilities, so I ranked them fourth in my priorities. This is why we prioritize the needs of our household above all others. Don't get me wrong, my kids are the most important things in my life, but I've already sacrificed so much for them when they were little; now they're grown up and responsible for themselves and their household.

Politics and religion are two topics I've always avoided discussing. WHY????? The truth is that everyone has valid points of view on these two issues, and they are all correct since they reflect the individual's core values. I will be discussion in my podcast that will be focusing on the intricate topic of the Belief System. What you read is correct, Episode 1 will be posted soon in my website. Finally, I'd want to state that the interpretations of each Bible passage presented here reflect my current understanding. Even if we may have different opinions, please keep in mind that YOU and I are NOT the same person, I respect your opinion and I expect the same.

My husband brought up the biblical instruction to respect one's parents, who in his case were both deceased, the day we had this discussion, and I was cruel and hard in bringing him the devastating information back to his life. Now he was telling me how important it was for him to look after his loved ones, and I was telling him that the time to do so was when they were really in need, and the time to begin enforcing limits consistently was when I saw a pattern existed. After outlining and briefly summarizing the points at issue in the following bible segments, I will provide my own perspective on the matter.

Bible Point of View of Honoring Parents, Spouses, children’s, and family members:

So, when I look up information on this topic, all I get are things like, "What should my husband do?" and "What should I do as a wife?" Here I'll discuss the importance the Bible places on marriage and the home.

There is no explicit command in the Bible to prioritize one's family before everything else, but many passages do emphasize the value of loving and honoring one's spouse and children.

Ephesians 5:21 is one such passage.

One such passage is Ephesians 5:25, which tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. This text emphasizes the selfless devotion and deep reverence that husbands owe to their spouses. This love ought to be a mirror of Christ's sacrificial love for his church.

Colossians 3:19 is another passage.

Another text that encourages men to treat their spouses with kindness and respect is Colossians 3:19. Husbands, show respect and kindness to your wives by not treating them harshly. This text emphasizes the need of creating a loving, compassionate, and respectful atmosphere inside the marital union.

Exodus 20:12 is another passage.

When thinking about how to treat one's own family, Exodus 20:12 sticks out as a particularly pertinent verse. It says, "Honor your father and mother, so that it may go well with you and that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." This commandment encompasses the larger concept of showing gratitude to one's parents for everything they've done for us and for the benefits that follow from doing so. It also involves showing reverence and gratitude to one's own parents.

In addition, the Bible repeatedly urges Christians to prioritize their relationships with their loved ones. "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household," (“OFFICIAL KING JAMES BIBLE ONLINE”) it states in 1 Timothy 5:8, "he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." This poem stresses the need of providing for and caring for one's loved ones, of realizing the value of meeting their needs and ensuring their wellbeing.

The preceding chapters show that the Bible places a strong emphasis on valuing, respecting, and prioritizing our familial connections, as well as demonstrating love, honor, and care for our spouses and other family members, even if there may not be a specific scripture that talks clearly about honoring one's family before everything else.

I did some additional research into what the Bible says about wives and came across these passages:

The Bible provides guidance on a wife's duties within the context of marriage, stressing the importance of a wife's contribution to the growth of a healthy marriage. While various verses focus on different aspects of wifehood, a full perspective of a wife's responsibilities may be gleaned by reading a number of chapters.

Ephesians 5:22-24 has one of the most essential texts, which reads, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (“OFFICIAL KING JAMES BIBLE ONLINE”)The spouse is likened to Christ because he serves as the leader and protector of his family unit (the family being an allegory for Christ's body, the church). Similar to how the church submits herself to Christ, wives should do the same for their husbands. The need of obedience to one's spouse is emphasized in this chapter. It shows how a wife should be willing to accept her husband's authority and assist him in it out of love and respect for both of them.

As an added bonus, the virtuous woman depicted in Proverbs 31:10-31 is so beautiful that the text itself is frequently referred to as the "Proverbs 31 Woman." This book enumerates the many roles and responsibilities that women are expected to do in order to ensure the well-being of their families and communities. It creates the image of a woman who loves her family and works hard to provide for them in any way she can.

In addition, the third through sixth chapters of 1 Peter include guidance on how a woman should conduct herself in public. These passages emphasize the value of being a godly example to others, as well as the importance of having inner beauty and calmness. Women are encouraged by this verse to influence their spouses for the better and create an atmosphere of harmony and support at home.

The importance of love, respect, and cooperation between spouses within the institution of marriage is emphasized throughout the Bible, and these passages should be viewed in light of that. God does not want a woman's responsibilities to seem like a burden; rather, they are meant to represent God's goal for a healthy marriage.

Finally, the Bible provides a comprehensive view of a wife's responsibilities, which include submission to her husband, loyalty to him, love for the children in her care, sound judgment, and godly example. These responsibilities stem from a shared commitment to making a marriage work for the benefit of both partners. The Bible's teachings on women's duties in marriage provide guidance for doing so with dignity, openness, and a strong commitment to honoring God and spouses.

Modern ERA point of view:

There is timeless wisdom and profound significance in the ancient biblical passages that instruct us to love and honor our parents and other family members and to prioritize the needs of the home. The dynamics of society have evolved, but the fundamental ideas about the importance of the family have remained the same even as our understanding of its numerous forms and roles has expanded.

Respect and honor are two of the most fundamental building blocks of healthy family relationships. The importance of a healthy parent-child connection is being more recognized in today's culture. More focus is put on promoting open discourse, empathy, and understanding than on strictly adhering to hierarchical authority in modern interpretations. Parents play an important role in their children's lives by serving as positive examples, providing guidance and nurturing them as they grow into independent adults.

The concept of respecting one's parents comprises more than a surface level sense of obligation or slavish compliance. In order to carry out this duty, one must recognize the dedication and sacrifices parents make to ensure their children's well-being and development. We recognize that traditional gender roles for mothers and fathers may not always apply, and as a consequence, we appreciate the wide variety of parenting approaches that are available in today's society. Single parents, couples of the same gender, and families whose children have different biological parents all contribute to the rich tapestry that is the modern family dynamic.

The importance of showing love and gratitude to one's relatives is also emphasized in the Bible's reading. The concept of "family" in the context of the modern family home extends to include one's siblings, parents, and grandparents. There is a greater focus in modern society on valuing and considering the unique perspectives and experiences of each family member. Relationship building, attachment formation, and tolerance of individual differences are all facilitated by this environment.

Many individuals nowadays may relate to the sentiment that they should put family first because of the pressures they feel to succeed professionally and in their personal lives. It's a timely reminder that we need to reevaluate our priorities and give more thought to the value of maintaining strong bonds within our own families. It is more crucial than ever to make time for one's family in today's environment, when time-consuming occupations, social commitments, and technology distractions abound. It requires making time to do things together, talk about things that matter, and generally be supportive of one another.

Commitment is another fundamental concept depicted in the ancient Bible text. In today's world, a family's sustained health and happiness depends on its members' commitment to one another within the framework of the family unit. Particular challenges have emerged as a result of the rapid speed of contemporary life, the high prevalence of divorce, and the ongoing migration of cultural standards. Nonetheless, commitment is the bedrock upon which happy households are constructed. It entails being there for one another emotionally, having undying devotion, and being resolute in facing hardships and celebrating successes as a unit.

Modern-day practices of respect and reverence for one's family have their origins in religious instruction, but they also serve the greater good of society. A positive ripple effect may be seen when there are strong family ties and healthy connections, and this can be ascribed to the growth of compassion, empathy, and community outside the house. By prioritizing kindness and peace in our daily lives, we may help weave a more compassionate and peaceful global fabric.

The modern day also offers new opportunities to put into practice the guidance found in this ancient Bible verse. Technology has altered the way we interact, allowing members of the same family to stay in touch despite geographical distance. Constant communication and the development of a feeling of virtual community may take place via tools like instant messaging, video conferencing, and other types of social media. Although these innovations can't replace face-to-face contact, they can help people stay connected regardless of physical distance, and that means we can still show our loved ones how much we care even when we can't be with them in person.

This Bible verse is a timely reminder of the need of intentional parenting in today's world. It motivates parents to create a warm and accepting household where their children may learn and grow. It urges parents to lead by example in accordance with the values they want to instill in their children and to be their children's trustworthy moral compass as they face the challenges and opportunities of a complex and ever-changing world. It forces parents to see themselves as educators and take charge of their children's upbringing, shaping their characters and encouraging them to be responsible, compassionate, and empathetic.

In addition, there is a greater need for acceptance and tolerance of diverse family structures than there was in the past. Some families consist of just one biological parent, others were established via adoption, while yet others include parents of the same gender. Respecting and valuing the various varied configurations that exist within society may improve the fabric of society, which in turn promotes acceptance and tears down barriers. In light of this, it is obvious how important it is to create a home environment in which each and every family member is treated with dignity and respect and is assured of feeling loved and valued.

When it comes down to it, the ancient Bible passage about honoring one's parents and other relatives offers sound counsel that has endured the test of time and is still relevant today. Love, respect, and loyalty to one another are emphasized in the framework of the family. As society as a whole develops, so do these values, reflecting the dynamic nature of family structures and duties. Adopting the sentiments expressed in this poem may help us build families that are more loving, sensitive, and harmonious. Such connections are crucial to the functioning of any modern civilization.

My point of view:

when choosing a life partner, we humans occasionally make the incorrect choice but often choose the one who turns out to be the best possible fit. Long-lasting relationships are the result of mutual affection, open dialogue, mutual respect, dedication, and patience. When faced with life's inevitable difficulties, the weak and immature will naturally seek refuge. But if you're a strong person, you'll use this difficulty as a springboard to grow closer together, gain insight, and improve yourself in the process.

I'm going to share a story with you. When I met my husband, he was stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. At the time, he couldn’t take me on a date, but my intuition told me that he was a wonderful match for me and that I needed to give him a chance. I am now happily married to my husband. Here's the short version of a lengthy story: After getting to know him more, I realized he was cash strapped since he was supporting his family. I was drawn to him because of how amazed I was by his generosity.

However, the truth is that certain members of his family understood the perfect method to receive what they wanted since he had a heart of generosity and love for everyone. I relocated close to his hometown of Campbellton, FL (a little town in Florida that you may miss if you blink) as he was getting ready to leave the Army. When I first met him, he was helping his family, and I quickly realized that we had a lot in common: we both have good intentions and are both family-oriented, but I was raised by my dad, and I have to become an adult at a young age (if you're interested in learning more about my background, check out my blog, "Diary of a Female Player").

So, when I saw what was happening, I drew up some ground rules, and we agreed that we would have to talk about our goals and then make a decision about how to distribute our finances. Now that I've established my boundaries, I've been accused of being the one who takes advantage of him, uses his money to support my family in Puerto Rico, and so on and so forth. Because I'm not the kind to care about such things. For as long as I can remember, my favorite line to my husband has been, "If I have to use the little money, I have to pay the bills, you don't have money for anyone." As a result, the free ATM was cut off, but he also lost contact with the folks he used to provide; this year will be 11 years together, and since the user of the free ATM has even spoken, it was because they didn't have any other option to. Like I always said, just let the trash go away by itself.

Why do I go into such depth? In order for you to appreciate the value of a firm "no," of course. The fact remains, though, that it is not your duty to provide for adults. It's important to put the needs of your family first. We've settled on it. He was finally able to take a deep breath after establishing those boundaries. (Stay tuned for my workshop, People Pleaser, Forgiveness, Toxic Relationships and others.)

Now, returning to my point of view, I believe that we, as children, have a responsibility to look after our parents and provide them with any assistance we are able. However, if your parents, brothers, and the rest of your family in general are aware that you are having trouble, they will never put you in a position where you have to make a decision about them or your household. As far as I was taught, a couple should both put in half the effort. Why? If the woman doesn't works while the husband does, for example, she should ensure that he comes home to a clean house, food that has been prepared, and an atmosphere free of negativity. That I have to do it because I am the woman is not the point. Is more about that I am grateful because he's working hard so that I may relax at home while his gone. (I'll elaborate on this in a later post.)

Therefore, it's crucial that, when committing to a marriage or other committed partnership, we do it with mutual respect, tolerance, and, above all, unconditional love.

Take this advice in consideration:

Setting firm limits is crucial for both personal well-being and for maintaining positive connections with others. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we have given too much to other people without receiving any kind of reciprocation or interaction in return. It's important to take stock of our own situation and set boundaries in times like these to prevent harm to our health. Realizing the worth of our time, energy, and resources is just as important as realizing our own worth. To avoid being taken advantage of, it helps to be realistic about our own limits and to accept that moderation is key when it comes to giving. Limits may be set even without the buy-in of the people involved, despite the fact that doing so might be challenging. Doing so is a healthy dose of self-restraint and respect.

Communicating our limits in a strong but polite way may protect us from exhaustion and rage, while also setting clear expectations for others. While it is natural to want approval from others, this should not be the basis for setting personal boundaries. They give a way to maintain our emotional and mental well-being while also acting as a demonstration of the importance we have on ourselves. We can better meet our own needs and foster relationships that are more balanced, respectful, and caring when we set clear boundaries and allow each other space to do the same.

Resources:

“OFFICIAL KING JAMES BIBLE ONLINE.” OFFICIAL KING JAMES BIBLE ONLINE: AUTHORIZED KING JAMES VERSION (KJV), www.kingjamesbibleonline.org.

I invite you to join my Life Coaching program if you're ready to start making positive changes in your life. We'll talk about things like forgiveness, happiness, empowerment, and more, all of which may play a role in helping you reframe your life and find your true calling. Don't be shy; Way of the Wise Owl is a non-profit organization, and your consultation with us will cost you nothing. Let's cross our fingers and hope for a speedy response.

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— The Way of the Wise Owl by Dagmarie Daniels